Breaking Free: A Path to Healing and Prevention in a Binary World

It's incredibly disheartening to acknowledge that in the 21st century, genocide continues to afflict various regions, leaving behind a trail of devastation. One ongoing situation is the ongoing Rohingya genocide in Myanmar. The Rohingya, a Muslim minority group, have faced persecution, displacement, and violence, resulting in a humanitarian crisis that demands our collective awareness and action.

In China, the Uighur population has been subjected to what many experts and international bodies have labeled as genocide. Reports detail widespread human rights abuses, mass arbitrary detentions, and forced assimilation campaigns. The plight of the Uighurs underscores the urgent need for global attention and advocacy against such egregious violations.

In Tigray, Ethiopia, a conflict recently escalated into a humanitarian crisis with reports of ethnic cleansing and widespread violence against civilians. The impact on mental health and well-being in these regions is immeasurable, with survivors facing trauma, grief, and profound loss.

And then there’s the horrific violent atrocities that took place in Israel at the hands of Hamas in early October that created all out war and have led to genocide. Let’s make no mistake here—what Hamas did to innocent Israelis must be condemned. Israel absolutely has a right to retaliate and protect itself. AND, the reality is that there have been thousands and thousands of innocent Palestinian civilians killed over the past two months. The impact of Israel’s wrath isn’t making sense. The history is deep here. Much deeper than we can go into in this post today. What you need to know is that what’s unfolding is genocide against the Palestinian people. As of today, roughly 18,000 Palestinians have been killed. Today, as I write this the UN will be hosting a panel to discuss whether what’s happening to the Palestinian people is genocide. It seems nauseatingly clear to me.

I think it’s important to remember that we can hold the humanity and protection of innocent Israelis and Palestinians equally. One does not discount or negate the other.

As these events continue to unfold, I’ve been talking with friends and family about the news. Expressing our fears, sadness, concern, hopelessness, and deliberating on next steps in supporting those around us. In a recent conversation with a friend and colleague, it hit me:

Our binary thinking is LITERALLY killing us. And, the reality is, it has been for a very long time.

So, what is binary thinking?

What creates binary thinking?

How does binary thinking lead to extremism?

How does extremism lead to genocide?

And, most importantly, what the hell can we do about it?!

In this episode, I’ll answer all these questions, and I’ll leave you with an experiential to work with your own binary thinking. Cause the reality is we all struggle with this to some degree. And, as I always say, the work starts with us. I can’t stress that enough.

Let's start by examining what we mean by binaries. Binary thinking involves categorizing ideas, people, or concepts into opposing and mutually exclusive categories – like good or bad, right or wrong, black or white. I want to make a note here that I’m not a fan of using the phrase “black and white” as it has racist undertones. White is “good” and black is “bad”. I do urge all of us to start to remove this phrase from our vocabulary.

This dualistic way of thinking shapes our understanding of the world and influences our decision-making daily. Consider how we were socialized from a young age to think in binaries. In school, we're often taught to see things in terms of right or wrong answers. Media portrays heroes and villains, creating a narrative that oversimplifies complex issues. Even gender roles are a prime example of societal binaries, where individuals are expected to conform to either masculine or feminine ideals.

It’s this way of thinking that leads to -isms and -phobia-- racism and sexism, homophobia, etc. And that way of thinking leads to hate and targeted hate crimes as well as genocide.

Now, let's explore the connection between trauma and binary thinking. Research has shown that traumatic experiences can lead to a rigid perspective on the world. Individuals who have experienced trauma may develop a heightened need for control and predictability, leading them to see things in extreme terms – safe or dangerous, trustworthy or untrustworthy.

Trauma can warp our perception, pushing us into survival mode and reinforcing the need for clear-cut distinctions between safety and threat. This binary thinking can persist long after the traumatic event, influencing how we navigate relationships, make decisions, and view ourselves. In the western world of psychology, these types of symptoms from traumatic events are often categorized as symptoms of PTSD. And, even though we categorized PTSD as a diagnosis—it’s actually a healthy and NORMAL response to a harmful situation. As I often tell my clients— “This may sound odd, but I’d be more worried if you didn’t experience these symptoms.”

I want to make an important distinction here.

There’s also a phenomenon called Continuous Traumatic Stress (CTS). Frank Chikane coined this term when he was studying the effects of the apartheid in South Africa. These are symptoms that develop when someone is exposed to ongoing cultural burdens like genocide, war, and racism. I’ve also heard another term recently-- Present Traumatic Stress Disorder. Shout out to Trudi and Weeze. I learned about that term from their podcast, That’s Not How That Works episode number 112 called At the Expense of No One Else. I haven’t been able to find an original source for this phrase, so if anyone knows, please send it my way.

People who are actively living through genocide, war, etc. absolutely NEED to continue to think in survival mode and fight for their lives. When someone enters your home holding a gun to your family, it’s no longer about negotiating. We often need to match that energy to survive. I don’t fault people for that. And, when someone is actively under threat that is NOT the time for trauma work. The last thing we want to do is dismantle someone’s innate alarm system when there’s an imminent threat.

However, when past experiences change our way of thinking to one that’s becoming more rigidly “us vs them”, we need to be accountable to our way of being in this world and we need others to hold us accountable, too. In this scenario, there IS the potential to do the work to step out of this way of thinking and heal so we do not perpetuate trauma.

Here's an example from my own life…

In 2013 I experienced the horrors of the Boston Marathon Bombing as many of us in the area did— each uniquely in our own ways. As for me, I was downtown about a block away from the finish line. I felt the explosions. Heard the explosions. Witnessed some of the bloody aftermath. I’ll spare you the details, but to say the least… It was a very traumatic experience.

It's not a secret the two brothers who committed these bombings were Muslim and they were radicalized, and they planned a coordinated attack together. Having experienced that attack, I could have fallen into us vs them thinking. “Muslims are bad. They are terrorists. All Muslim’s need to pay the consequences”. Etc. You get the point. That way of thinking would then make me hateful, and I’d have more charge to commit hate crimes against Muslim people. OR be okay and complicit in the hate crimes others were committing against the Muslim community.

It goes back to that cliché saying, “hurt people, hurt people.”

Thankfully, that’s not what happened to me. Some may say, “yeah, cause that’s just who you are,” but research tells us this is also likely due to being exposed to so many amazingly wonderful people from different walks of life, including those of the Muslim faith, and going through my own trauma therapy. 

So, as you can begin to understand here, binary thinking, when taken to an extreme, can fuel dangerous ideologies and contribute to the rise of extremism. Extremists often view the world in stark terms, dividing it into 'us versus them.' This mentality can escalate to the point where dehumanization occurs, laying the groundwork for atrocities like genocide.

Borum’s 4 stage Model of Terrorist Mindset is very helpful in understanding binary thinking on a continuum:

  1.  Grievance: “It’s not right.”

  2. Injustice: “It’s not fair.”

  3. Target Attribution: “It’s your fault.”

  4. Distancing/Devaluation: “You’re evil.”

In this model, moving from placing blame on the situation to the person/people increases the dehumanization process, and this is important for all of us to understand. Because this is when people are more likely to commit hate crimes, war crimes and genocide.

So, what do we do with all this information?

How do we prevent hate crimes and genocide?

The good news is that therapy can play a pivotal role in addressing binary thinking and promoting reform for extremists.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT) is one effective approach, helping individuals identify and challenge their rigid thought patterns.

Dialectical behavior therapy (DBT) is another valuable technique, encouraging mindfulness and acceptance to navigate the in-between areas and find balance.

Internal Family Systems (IFS) is a wonderful modality that helps us see all the “parts” of ourselves including our shadows promoting self-compassion and self-awareness.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) is a third modality that helps individuals become more desensitized from traumatic responses. It also helps their brain store and process the experience differently—usually more positively.

Psychedelic Assisted Psychotherapy (PAP) is showing promise regarding deconstructing binary narratives. Entheogens have the potential to show that which lives between the binaries.

And, then there’s somatic forms of therapy that help us work with trauma stored in the body. It’s important in trauma work to work with what’s stored in the body as well as the mind when people are ready. These include modalities such as Somatic Experiencing (SE).

In my experience, somatic based therapies and psychedelic assisted psychotherapy seem to be the most quick and efficient at helping people see their are other options for ways of being. However, there are contraindications, and these modalities needs to be approached with the most “right as possible” pacing and timing.

For those who engage in extremist reform, it's crucial to approach this work with empathy and understanding because trauma and/or lack of exposure has likely created a pathway for radicalization. Research suggests that interventions focused on humanizing the 'other' and promoting empathy can be effective in breaking down binary thinking and reducing extremist tendencies.

One of my favorite documentaries that speaks to this topic is called “White Right: Meeting the Enemy.” You can find this documentary on Netflix and I’ll link it in the show notes. This documentary follows a young female Muslim journalist, Deeyah Khan, as she sits down face to face with KKK members, and members of other extremist groups. First of all, I bow down to this woman—the bravery and courage. The movie captures the extremism that’s created by having little to no exposure to diversity. I don’t want to give too much away, but what I felt was hopeful was that this movie showcases firsthand how humanizing someone by meeting them changes their way of thinking and being. Phew! Honestly, just thinking about it brings me to tears.

At this point, you may be wondering—what’s the opposite of binary thinking?

The opposite of binary thinking “spectrum thinking”.

Here are ways you can support spectrum thinking in yourself and in your communities:

1.        Confrontation never goes well. It only further validates someone’s extreme beliefs causing them to dig their heals in even deeper. When engaging with people who are stuck in a binary way of thinking, offer facts in an unassuming way or ask curious questions that may help them see the spectrum of possibility. For example, “I’m curious why you feel the way you do. Can you explain?”, “have you ever hung out with someone who is Muslim?” or factually “I have Muslim friends. They’re so wonderful and they don’t believe in violence.”

 

2.        Make a point to expose yourself and your kids to different cultures— racial, religious, ethnic, atheist, etc. Again, research shows that exposure makes a big difference when it comes to binary thinking and extremism.

 

3.        Make a point to fact check info that’s coming to you. Don’t share news or other info without fact checking as much as possible. Question news, posts, etc that paint a binary picture. No one is immune to binary thinking—it’s applauded, pervasive, and accepted in our culture.

 

4.        Politically, protest, send emails, leave voicemails, etc. VOTE FOR THOSE WHO SEE LIFE ON A SPECTRUM AND ARE SAYING THEY WILL CREATE LAWS THAT UPHOLD SPECTRUM THINKING.

 

5.        Support businesses that view life on a spectrum. For example, is this a business that actively supports LGBTQIA+ rights?

 

6.        Keep Borum’s model in mind. Take it seriously when you notice someone is making statements that place them at “target attribution” and “distancing/devaluation”. This is dangerous territory. Don’t be shy about reporting suspicious activity.

 

7.        Remember, there’s a difference between flawed thinking and discernment. Flawed thinking is (back to my example): All Muslim people are bad. Discernment is: The amount of innocent people Israeli troops are killing doesn’t feel right. Something isn’t adding up and based on the facts we know, this is Genocide. We need to be as discerning as possible right now.

 

8.        As for inner work, take a moment to reflect on an issue or belief where you find yourself thinking in binary terms. You could choose something a little more personal, like “X hates me.” Or something a bit more national or global, like “all democrats are idiots.”

Now, challenge yourself to identify at least three truthful yet neutral statements around that binary. Embrace the complexity and nuance that exists and get as curious as you can. For example, “I have a difficult history with X, AND I have no evidence that they hate me. Maybe they appreciate me for _____.” Or “I’ve met some democrats that I don’t agree with, AND they’re entitled to their opinions just like I am.” You want your statements to be believable while challenging your initial narrative a bit.

As you navigate your day, make a conscious effort to notice when binary thinking creeps in. Ask yourself if there's a middle ground or a more nuanced perspective. Remember, breaking free from binaries is a process – one that requires self-awareness, compassion, and a commitment to embracing the richness of the in-between.

As we wrap up, I invite you to tune into my podcast, Metamorphose, which you can find on Podbean, Spotify and Samsung Podcast apps. I’ve recorded this blog for those who would prefer to listen to the content AND I’ve added a meaningful guided meditation at the end for you to explore binary and spectrum thinking through felt sense. It’s a potent and powerful process that I encourage you to experience and share with others in your life you feel may appreciate it.

In closing…

May those who are trapped in binary thinking find their way to freedom of mind and nuance of thought.

May we have patience and compassion for ourselves and others as we navigate these trying times.

May we practice judgment versus discernment now more than ever.

May all the innocent souls currently facing hate crimes and genocide feel our fierce love of their humanity and our protection.

Citation:

Borum, Randy. (2011). Radicalization into Violent Extremism II: A Review of Conceptual Models and Empirical Research. Journal of Strategic Security. 4. 10.5038/1944-0472.4.4.2.